I will start by saying I am married now and don't usually open myself like this, but I hope that my experience will help others avoid the misery I put myself through and that we all have choices in life to make.
We can go the right way or the wrong way, then, deal with it.
I don't blame anyone but myself for what happened, or what might have been. This is what happened though. Back in my home town Missouri City, TX or as some call it
" misery city ". Just kidding though. Missouri City is a great place really. I would mostly smoke weed and drink vodka with my friends just after I started drugging. I think the main reason I kept smoking weed was that, my friend E (who I first smoked with) had introduced me to a young lady that I fell for completely. It was love at first sight for me on the soccer field of the local elementary school. We all smoked weed together that day watching her friend play soccer. Then I used the excuse to call her as often as possible to invite her to smoke weed with me (almost every day). The problem was that at the time I didn't have the confidence or experience with women to actually ask her to be mine. I guess I was afraid she would turn me down and we wouldn't have even the friendship we had. "Big mistake" that timid behavior ended up costing me many years of depression a self destructive behavior as well as several attempts at suicide. Although I'm sure she knew I loved her, I don't think she knew the magnitude of love I had for her. I had always wished there was a device that could measure the love I had for her, a sort of "love-meter". In the end someone else captured her heart officially (I was still completely in love with her). We remained the best of friends and were constantly together. For years I saw that as the greatest loss in my life. I would never know for certain if she could have or would have been mine. I got married 12/02/2002 to Susana. Susy is great. I would still dream about one day finding my old (friend girl) until not long ago, I did. I found her on Facebook. I was so, so happy because it had been about 20 years that I had tried to look her up and never found her.
I had moved to Ft. Lauderdale and didn't stay in touch. After talking with her on the phone I finally let go of years of frustration. What a weight off my shoulders that was.Click Here To See Next Post ---> http://recoveryadvice.blogspot.com/p/when-i-moved-to-miami-from-ft-myers-fl.html
